Being the woman your mother warned you about, on Heretics, Lovers and Madmen. I have some sisters too you should watch out for.

Heretics, Lovers, and Madmen

I am the woman your mother warned you about:
She and the other matriarchs exchanged recipes. Babies in arms, children tugging at their sleeves. High pitched squealing. The perfect detergent for spring cleaning.
I zoomed out.
Someone asked me something, I said ‘what?’ Then they exchanged glances.
– Isn’t the day hot, and could you beat the eggs?
– Sure, why not?

I beat the eggs and I was thinking the last time I did spring cleaning must have been summer because it was hot. Then someone came and brought me pot. That’s how I missed a spot on the window glasses.

I am the woman your mother warned you about:
When she told me ‘when you get pregnant,’ I said ‘I’m not taking any chances.’

‘Son, she’s cold. Chit-chat was like we spoke foreign languages. I have a feeling she’ll never bake a pie. She only paid attention when…

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18 thoughts on “I Am the Woman – Basilike Pappa

  1. “Men are dogs
    Partly … or mostly
    By way
    of an overdue apology
    Woman is
    the superior gender
    in every area
    except when it comes
    to brute strength
    So, if you ever need
    that stubborn jam jar
    opened
    you know my number 😎”
    ~ An Abnormal Brute

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful to blaze your own trail. My mom never warned me about women — maybe she should have lol. No, she was more concerned that I was shallow and swayed by a pretty face and liked the unconventional girls. She laughed when my brother told her that the first girl I’d danced with was a stranger with blue hair. That was her way of being passive-aggressive.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like blue hair! I always wanted to dye mine, but then thought it would be stupid to apply all those chemicals on something healthy and natural just to make it look extreme.

      Parents are usually bad at warning you about anything — at least that’s what my experience tells me.

      Like

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